As Women we are called to enter into a softer more loving relationship with ourselves.

What does this Mean?

That for too long we have been  trapped in a cycle of guilt from past mistakes, low self esteem, and feelings of inadequacies.  We believe the negative identifiers that others have used about us.

We don’t believe that we can rise out of our situations, the main reason we don’t believe we can, is because we have convinced ourselves that we do not deserve  to be in a better place in life

We allow ourselves to be abused by others, and we add to the abuse by placing the needs of others in our life above ours.

  • When we enter into a softer more loving relationship with ourselves,
    we break those myths, we accept ourselves, flaws and all, understanding that  it is not only okay to be flawed, but we won’t get out of life with being flawed in some way
  • When we enter a softer more loving relationship with ourselves,
    we forgive ourselves for past mistakes, no matter how large or small, and we come to understand that forgiveness is the first step towards healing
  • When we enter a softer more loving relationship with ourselves,
    our well being is not only our first priority but we understand that unless “put on our own mask first”,** it will be impossible to assist anyone else.  Additionally we will keep in mind that every time we place our own needs last, we jeopardize the lives of our loved ones.
  • When we enter a softer more loving relationship with ourselves,
    we give ourselves permission to excel, positioning ourselves to find our wings and take flight.  We understand that moving our lives to the next level is what God intended for us as his perfectly imperfect creation.  We come to understand  that we have a very relevant purpose for being here and are not intended to lead  stagnant and unproductive lives

Unfortunately many of us have not embraced the “softer side”, we have bought into the myths about who it is we are as women, we have internalized the labels and negative identifiers  placed on us by Society, unwitting family members even friends who don’t have a vision of taking flight themselves.   Therefore we don’t see ourselves as someone others should love respect and honor, and we definitely reject the concept of loving and honoring ourselves.

Negative identifiers

  • Too Fat
  • Too loud
  • Lazy
  • Seeking a project life waiting on a monthly check
  • Promiscuous
  • Angry
  • Drama queens

Other roles we are forced into by Society, family and friends, which we are quick to embrace rather than the concept that says we are such a top priority to ourselves, that the following roles are not for us

  • Pushover/doormat –These are the women who allow themselves to be emotionally shoved around by  domineering men, pushy family members, or sons whom we’ve aloud to believe can walk all over us and we’ll continue to bail them out of their problems establishing a system that keeps them from taking responsibility for their own poor choice
  • Martyrdom — This is the woman who claims to walk straight in from work with heels on and work clothes straight into the Kitchen to get dinner started for the family, while they are off on their own missions—basket ball games, watching TV, or playing video games.  Being a martyr always backfires, men don’t care about it, family members don’t really value it, and the “matyr” herself ends up resenting everyone who is not acknowledging how she prostates herself before everyone else’s throne.
  • Longsuffering — This woman, goes for years taking the abuse of everyone who will inflict it on her.  Unfortunately, the more people notice that this lady is longsuffering, the longer the list will get of
  • Can’t Appreciate a Good Man—This is a rumor created and perpetuated by men that some time women prefer a man who is going to knock her around, cheat on her, talk to her very badly, or just otherwise mistreat her.

Men make this assumption about women without understanding that it is low self-esteem, and a history of being devaluated that makes women feel that they are only worthy of this kind of man—Not a true desire, to be in this type of situation.  They just have not discovered the “glory” of who they really are – there heart has not found its true home within themselves.


Those notions are outdated and without merit.  They idea that women would prefer to be with a man who cheats, and beats is an antiquated generalization that has not be validated .—A more accurate statement is…

“Women who suffer from low self esteem, who have never been valued, who have not been introducted to their own self worth are often taken advantage of by overbearing aggressive men, who only feel powerful when they beat on or emotionally abuse women”


  • Embracing the concept of the softer side  helps us to “find” our wings and  positions us to take flight,
  • Makes it easer to believe we can move our lives to the next level.
  • We become empowered to start fresh with a clean slate.
  • It is an opportunity to let go of all the negative identifiers we have internalized.  Shaking loose of those “Blessing Blockers” and stepping up to  our own plate—positions us to fly.
Upcoming Event!

I was so blessed by today's symposium, and I'm looking forward to what will be birthed out of the connections we made. Renee P. Aldrich thank you for the platform for us to come together not only to share but to be fed by one another and empowered to get out of those stuck places. Blessings to you all!